Monday, March 16, 2009
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence (EI). EI is “the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence” (Cooper & Sawaf, 1996, p. xiii). The construct of EI includes the following factors: “(a) perceiving emotions, (b) using emotions to facilitate thoughts, (c) understanding emotions, and (d) managing emotions to enhance personal growth” (Emmerling & Cherniss, 2003). Question....How do you perceive emotions as they relate to mentoring personnel or making decisions?
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Emotions allow beings to relate to other beings. As a Visionary Leader, I cannot allow emotions to hinder my abilities to remain focus and make effective decisions.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as a Visionary Mentor, emotions allow me to (a) feel the impact that others' experience during certain situations, (b) transfer knowledge aimed to subdue any impacts, and (c) continuously grow to become a more proactive and effective Visionary Leader who aims to overcome obstacles that may affect future generations.
Emotions certainly have their place when mentoring or leading other individuals, but to a point. Empathy and interpersonal skills require an emotional element with which other human beings may connect, allowing them to feel that they are valued personnel that are being encouraged to succeed. However, a mentor or leader cannot feed into the emotional responses of others, or make impulsive, 'knee-jerk' reactions based upon emotions. Calm, deductive reasoning and logic must prevail when teaching, leading, and making decisions, whether for a business or regarding personnel. Likeablility does not always indicate whether an individual is compatible with the position for which he or she is being mentored. Intelligence does not always indicate a persons ability to learn. Realizing the abilities and limitations of individuals, while exercising empathy, encouragement, patience, and professionalism, is the balance that must be achieved between emotions and logic.
ReplyDeleteHow do you perceive emotions as they relate to mentoring personnel or making decisions?
ReplyDeleteFrances Bacon states, “Knowledge is Power.” People go to school to get smart and corporations hire smart people. Leaders are always looking for ways to increase the knowledge of its workers through education, training and business acumen. Arygris (1991) shared ideas about “Teaching Smart People How to Learn” and Quinn, Anderson & Finkelstein (1996) offered information around “Managing Professional Intellect.” We as humans are conditioned to operate from a cognitive perspective. We earn our keep based on how smart we are and how quickly we learn. Now that we are in an economic crunch, it is important for us to bring more to the table. The words connection, emotions, and authenticity are moving to the forefront.
We understand that there has to be some offering of emotional interaction. Emotional interaction is critical to sharing what needs to be said instead of what we think others want to hear. The problem is that we have not had to or have not been groomed to connect with our emotional side and show up in an authentic manner. This impacts our interactions in relationships, at work and subsequently with our body. I foresee this as the issue when we are placed in positions to mentor or make decisions. We camouflage our emotions to do what we think we should do or fail to do what is right.
We have to understand the components of what Cooper & Sawaf (1997) refer to as emotional literacy. This shifts our focus from the cognitive (head) to the emotional (heart). It is about working with our skeletons and feeling good about who we are. If we know our strengths and opportunities, then we can understand what gets in our way when we are working with others or making decisions. We can then share our true feelings and provide honest feedback to make the right decisions. This is what people appreciate most in others.
Do you feel African American females have been taught to "get in touch" with emotions which translates into understanding self and communicating effectively in personal and professional life?
ReplyDeleteEmotions play an important part in helping transform and mentor individuals. The emotion of caring for another person and being willing to mentor the person is definitely needed today and by African American.
ReplyDeleteI would like to comment on Dr J’s post from a personal and professional perspective of what I have experienced in a military and corporate venue, facilitating diversity mentoring groups and coaching diverse clients. Because of the parameters in which women entered the workforce (glass ceiling), they quickly learn that in order to move up the ladder, you have to be tough and prove you are the best. In doing so, women felt they had to come across tougher to be recognized as someone who could get the job done and withstand the pressure. This translated to their role at home as mother, wife, comforter, caretaker… = a superwomen. With so many things to do in such a short time, it was hard to establish a balance between feelings and thinking. Feelings slow you down and make you realize too much…I cannot do it all, my body cannot take this, I am always giving and not receiving, I am not appreciated…When the pressure gets too tough, they realize that something is wrong and something has to change. Sometimes it is a significant event in their lives or just being tired of being tired that shouts out—something is wrong. This behavior is prominent in the enneagram personality type #3 achiever and sometimes #1 perfectionist.
ReplyDeleteAs part of getting my coaching certification, I had to learn about me. It felt like I was meeting a new person. It was a struggle at first but with self observations and practice, I was introduced to a totally different person who emotionally connected in a different way with others. It happened because I finally was in touch with myself. I learned it is okay to express what you feel and think. People want to know the truth and respect you for taking risk.
I feel that there is an opportunity for African American women to get in touch with their emotions and express how they feel from a body vs. a cognitive perspective. The right mentor or coach could help with this process.
How do you perceive emotions as they relate to mentoring personnel or making decisions?
ReplyDeleteIn a way, attorneys are mentors to juries and judges. They must find a way to help the trier-of-fact reach a goal, without letting emotions cloud sound judgement. It’s a difficult task.
I was first introduced to the concept of emotional intelligence through a book titled The Dance of Change, by Peter Senge. Senge contends that humans are most able to effectively communicate via the six intelligences: social intelligence, noetic intelligence, fiscal intelligence, emotional intelligence, environmental intelligence, and spiritual intelligence. I tend to agree with him that emotional intelligence is only part of the necessary structure. Senge defines emotional intelligence as the ability to sense and surface emotions in real time and effectively communicate the message they are conveying. This sort of emotional intelligence involves analyzing the emotional component of interpersonal communication, not the quality of the interpersonal relationship. The interpersonal relationship is what Senge calls social intelligence. This is what he describes as the “squishy” stuff. You either feel good about your relationships and your place in the world, or you don’t.
However, as Senge points out, emotions alone are wholly ineffective when attempting to communicate, and relying on them alone will almost certainly result in a poor mentoring relationship. I’m reminded of a story relayed to me by a colleague after a hard-fought victory at trial. It wasn’t a huge media event. Just a family from a small town trying to keep their pet. The pet was a pit bull, and although it had never bitten anyone, it did bark at a neighbor who was purposefully taunting it as part of an on-going petty feud. Because it growled in such a ferocious manner, the city confiscated the animal and prepared to terminate it.
At the trial, the government played on the emotions of the jury by showing graphic photos of children maimed and killed by pit bulls. The prosecutor identified the message he wanted to convey, and then presented the facts in a way to conjure an emotional reaction that would completely overshadow the jury’s ability to think critically. It was gory. Even so, my friend did not object. He watched as the jury looked on in horror while experts testified as to what pit bulls are capable of in a pack. Then it was his turn.
He confronted the jury and challenged them to think with their heads. To lean on their intelligence rather than their raw emotions. Yes, the government had shown them that other pit bulls had been vicious. But had the government shown that this pit bull had been or ever would be vicious? Did it attack the taunter? No. The law requires that only the facts be considered, not how the jury feels about the facts. Maybe the breed as a whole is nasty and violent, but the burden on the government wasn’t to show the whole breed was vicious. The burden was to show that this particular dog was an imminent threat to the safety of others.
Because he was able to persuade each member of the jury to use all of their six intelligences and not let their emotions or “squishy” feelings overrule their capacity to think critically, Princess got to go home, and the obnoxious neighbor got told to cease and desist.
While emotional intelligence is an important part of an effective communication strategy for mentoring, focusing too much on just that component of relating could damage the quality of the mentoring relationship.